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Onceuponatime,therewasaboywhowasverycleverandhenamedJohn.OnedaywhenJohnwasfiveyearsold,hismatherwithhimwenttovisitedtohisanut.Johnenjoygoingtohisaunt'shomeverymuchbecausetherearealotofinterestingtoysand
更新时间:2024-03-29 14:59:37
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问题描述:

Onceuponatime,therewasaboywhowasverycleverandhenamedJohn.

OnedaywhenJohnwasfiveyearsold,hismatherwithhimwenttovisitedtohisanut.Johnenjoygoingtohisaunt'shomeverymuchbecausetherearealotofinterestingtoysanddelicioussnacks.However,Johnhasbeenputonacoatwithmuchpocketsthenightbefore.

AssoonasJohnarrivedhisaunt'shome,hesaidtohisauntwitharealpokerfaceasanadult:"Youaresurehavealotofwordstotalkwithmymather,youneedn'ttopayattentiontome.I'lltakegoodcareofmyself."John'sauntwithasmileandsaid:"Whataamusedboy!"Twohourspassed.John'smatherlethimtosaygoodbytohisaunt.However,befortheirleave.Johnpointedtothesnacksonthetableandaskedtohisaunt:"Coulditakeawaythis?"John'sauntanswer:"Ofcouse,butcanyoutellmewhydoyouwanttotakethisfoodsaway?"Johnsaid:"Ithinkmysisterwouldbeveryenjoyit."However,infact,hissisterwasonlytwomonthold!Well,that'safulloftricksboy!请详细例出...

石双双回答:
  Onceuponatime,therewasaboywhowasverycleverandhe(“he”去掉,形式主语已经有了)namedJohn.   Oneday(oneday去掉,与后面时间状语重复)whenJohnwasfiveyearsold,hismather(我猜你想写的是mother吧)with(把with改成and比较好)himwenttovisited(不定式后接动词原形,所以去掉d,应该是visite)tohisanut.Johnenjoy(建议用like)goingtohisaunt'shomeverymuchbecausetherearealotofinterestingtoysanddelicioussnacks.However,(这里应该用所以,So,而不是然而however)Johnhas(时态保持一致,应该用had)been(been去掉)putonacoatwithmuch(可数many)pocketsthenightbefore(thenightbefore完全没毕要,去掉).   AssoonasJohnarrivedhisaunt'shome,hesaidtohisauntwitharealpoker(poker没明白你的意思)faceasanadult:"Youaresurehave(Iamsureyouhave)alotofwordstotalkwithmymather(mother),youneedn'ttopayattention(care而不是payattention)tome.I'lltakegoodcareofmyself."John'sauntwithasmileandsaid(Withasmile,John'sauntsaid):"Whataamused(lovely)boy!"Twohourspassed(later).John'smather(mother)lethimtosaygoodby(goodbye)tohisaunt.However,(去掉However)befortheirleave.Johnpointedtothesnacksonthetableandaskedtohisaunt:"Coulditakeaway(away去掉,this后面加home)this?"John'sauntanswer(加ed):"Ofcouse,butcanyoutellmewhydo(do去掉)youwanttotakethisfoodsaway(away去掉,改为home)?"Johnsaid:"Ithinkmysisterwouldbeveryenjoy(改为like)it."However,(去掉however,发现你特爱用这个词,但要明白他的意思是什么)infact,hissisterwasonlytwomonthold!Well,that'safulloftricksboy!   基本功不是很扎实,还要努力哟,加油~
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